Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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