Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
