A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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