Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
