Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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