I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
