Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize