I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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