butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
