i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
