why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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