Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
