four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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