sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
