i just google imaged poop.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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