Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
