i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
