I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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