Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
