You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
