if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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