it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
