shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
