And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
please don't ironically join a cult
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