I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Why can't burritos get me drunk
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
