are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
