sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
