ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
