I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
