i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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