i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
