dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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