I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I don't deserve a penis
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
