When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
