Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
