Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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