I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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