THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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