she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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