the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
two words: eviction party
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
