Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize