this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
