he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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