Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
