Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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