Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
