i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
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