She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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