I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
