Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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