Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Randomize
