I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Fuck appropriateness.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
