No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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