you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
why do cheetos always look like penises
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
