note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
When are your genitals available?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
