dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
