I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i think my cat just said my name.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
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