I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
