Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
