I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
