I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
