But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
