The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
