I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You just made me feel so damn special
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
