They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
