my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
